WASHINGTON — Sources confirmed that Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) disguised herself as an old woman and attempted to cast votes posing as Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) in The Senate this afternoon.
Feinstein, who sits on the Judiciary Committee has been on medical leave battling shingles. This has left Senate Democrats unable to push through judicial nominations with an already slim majority (51-49).
“It almost worked goddamn it!” Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) said shaking his head. “If it wasn’t for that meddling Ted Cruz.”
“I knew something was up the minute she (Ocasio-Cortez) walked by my office. I know what Dianne smells like. I’ve smelled her many times. That was not Dianne. No way!” Rep. Ted Cruz (R-TX) tweeted.
Cruz, who was just preparing to leave Washington DC for an unscheduled vacation in Mexico reported the incident to Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell via a text which was released during the investigation: “Heya Mitch, heads up, Dianne is smelling FRESH today lol, kinda weird, I think it’s a new scent from macys or something idk. I’ll be down south until this whole ‘boohoo we don’t have power’ thing blows over l8r m8 👏 🐢 ”
McConnell wanting to “get a whiff” made the discovery that “Dianne” was in fact just AOC in disguise.
As of yet, there is no indication what punishment Ocasio-Cortez will receive for the shenanigans.
