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Ron DeSantis opens up about strategy

TALLAHASSE — Florida Governor Ron DeSantis revealed last week via a seemingly unprompted series of tweets how he learned to be so quick on his feet politically.

The thread started off crediting the children’s game “Tic-Tac-Toe” as the foundation for his political movements throughout the past decade. “Tic-Tac-Toe game theory is absolutely how I make most of my decisions these days.” the Governor stated, “If your opponent puts down an O, you need to draw an X. It’s really that simple”. He added in a later post that “doing the opposite of your opponent was paramount to winning the game”.

When we reached out to the Florida Governor’s office for comment on how Tic-Tac-Toe played into his strategy to reverse the declawing of his new Disney oversight board, he personally replied: “I bet you’d like to know, wouldn’t ya!? Maybe I’ll put down an open X, or perhaps a defensive X. You’ll just have to wait and see.”

This revelation caught other political figures by surprise, and when asked many admitted they also used various children’s games to make decisions. The most notable was Congressman Matt Gaetz who told reporters that he “routinely plays Bop It! when things get tough” and that “sometimes you just need to shout it, twist it, or pull it to make any progress in this damn country”.

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