BURLINGTON — Reporters caught up with the Vermont Senator this afternoon after receiving several tips that Sanders had been seen departing his Burlington home with a large backpack and trekking poles. The Senator had traveled several hundred feet into the wooded area that surrounds his estate when news outlets first made contact.
After being questioned about what he was doing in the woods, he simply stated that “I’m going to go walk the lonely places of the earth” and when pressed further added that “it’s just been a real bummer, you know? One minute you’re trying to give everyone health care and the next minute you’re out here in the woods on a spirit walk”.
Journalists fearing for his safety successfully lured Sanders back into his home with the promise of Vermont’s largest cheese wheel and their definitely not super pac backed donation this coming election cycle.
Editors disclaimer: While Mr. Sanders was promised the “largest wheel of cheese in Vermont” we have been unable to corroborate these claims.
