MOSCOW — During a press conference aired on Russian state media, President Vladimir Putin took a few moments to admit something he says has “been weighing heavily on me” and is “really embarrassing to me and the people of Russia”.
After a short pause for dramatic effect, the Russian President threw off the blanket he had been wearing to reveal traditional Bavarian lederhosen.
Once the pressroom settled Putin allowed a short Q&A segment with journalists, we have included those questions below (note that due to the treatment of the free press in Russia we have redacted journalists names for their own safety):
Reporter #1: “How long have you known that you have Bavarian roots?”
Vladimir Putin: “I guess you could say there has been a part of me that always knew… The culture calls to me, and I frequently wear a pair of lederhosen under my work clothes. It just makes me feel good, I can’t explain it.”
Reporter #2: “What does this mean for your campaign against Ukraine?”
Vladimir Putin: “Now that I’m out I couldn’t care less about Ukraine – I was only doing it as a cry for help to begin with and well, here you all are! We did it!”
Reporter #3: “What are your plans going forward then?”
Vladimir Putin: “I think I’d really like to go back you know? Really immerse myself in my peoples lifestyle, maybe attend an authentic Oktobafest for once. I think that would really be something special.”
Declining to answer anymore questions, the Russian President did a half turn and proceeded to skip off the stage towards the exit humming a traditional Bavarian melody.
This story is currently breaking and will be updated…
