LITTLE ROCK — David Tippleton of Little Rock Arkansas was approached by Colorado state troopers early this morning when they found his vehicle parked on the side of interstate 70 a few miles out of Denver. When questioned by officers what he was doing, he told them that the last thing he remembered was leaving his house in Little Rock to get a pack of cigarettes.
“I buckled up, put on a 25 hour mix of the Home Depot theme song, and then I’m here talking to you all.” Tippleton shrugged, bewildered “you have to admit, it’s a great tune.”
After passing a sobriety test troopers helped him fill his gas tank, and warned that catchy jingles can be dangerous when you’re behind the wheel of a vehicle.
“We’ve seen this trending over the past few months, a company has a really good song and people just can’t seem to handle it. Really sad, I hope they receive the care they need before it’s too late.” One officer commented while patting his firearm “If I have to listen to one more rendition of ‘Nationwide is on your side’ I may start taking more drastic measures.”
Data shows that in 2023 there have been a recorded 435,605 deaths related to the whistling or humming of popular commercial jingles.
